#i'm in my self improvement arc

[russeliarat]

Life Update for 12th May

I have so much coursework to do that it's taken up a large portion of my life but tbh I have nothing but my ADHD and laziness to blame lol. I have 3 huge assignments due by the end of next week, a biology mock exam to revise for in 2 days, and a social life to keep up with :'] It's all fine though coz I get to go to Alton Towers theme park after my actual biology exam is done on 7th June. It's starting to become summer now and there's a heatwave right now so I'm able to do more stuff, if you wanna see what the system is up to, I have an instagram I'll happily give to people?

Also I've gotten into Avatar (2009) and Avatar Way of Water, the Metkayina clan from the latter low-key high-key reminds me of the Zora from LoZ so that's probably a part of why I like it tbh. Very good movies, the worldbuilding is phenomenal, the linguistics is an absolute treasure trove to explore, and I don't usually like love stories or romcoms but I think Way of Water definitely managed to explore different kinds of love and hate in an easily digestible way and has some very morally grey characters with complex motives. I like it 10/10, will probably read fanfics of it on ao3 later (probably even the bad Wattpad ones for fun too)

And me being me, I made an oc for it too coz I can't engage with a piece of media if I don't have an oc obviously. Her name is Mizawt, she's a part of the Metkayina clan if you haven't noticed, and I'll probably make some posts about her later coz I want to.

Speaking of media and ocs and sketchbooks, I've finally finished my big sketchbook and have moved onto using an A3 sketchbook for big character design work and a tiny plain paper sketchbook I got from my college for doodling. I have an original story fusing Filipino mythology and the Princess Diaries and Aphmau MyStreet for fun with my boyfriend :]

Other fandom stuff; excited for Chonny Jash's newest song to release tomorrow-ish, getting back back into Fear & Hunger and the first game is still my favourite (mostly just coz of how simple it is to master and understand) I hope Miro was able to recover most of their lost update progress from last year, my friends are getting me into Invincible and JJK (mostly the two boys in my friend group - omg yes I have irl friends now and it's a big group of friends and I love them all, college has turned out NOTHING like highschool (uh thanks to anyone who's stuck around who knew the mess I was in highschool I'm a lot better now)), and UK moth fandom still revelling over that new moth discovered literally December.

[p2ii]

redemption arcs where instead of the character having to do through the arc with the person they wronged and have the end goal be forgiveness they go through the arc with a completely different character that has no involvement in the main conflict with the goal being self improvement>>>

[crowlore]

that's up from my median of 79 if i lock this in 💪

[myheadphonesareneverloudenough]

me when i’m the audiences’ least favourite character and finally get my redemption arc only to be reduced to a stripper joke in the finale. and the woman i would give my life for disappears and i don’t spend any time looking for her, and only reference her once to make someone else happier about their life.

me when i’m a well loved character that audiences love because of my spontaneous acts of chaos and caring soul, only to be shoved aside and have my whole life ruined in the finale.

me when i’ve had so much taken away from me in my life that i had to resort to becoming the villain of my own story just to return to the people i love, only for my love interest which i fought so hard for to be left barely mentioned in the finale, and his absence doesn’t do anything to motivate my actions.

me when i spend years on self improvement before getting sucked back into my dark, self destructive ways and barely any of my so called family notices. and then my entire arc is left unnoticed and does absolutely nothing to my character development.

me when i spend my whole life trying to protect my family and have a clear set of priorities and passions, and then i throw that all away when i see a chance to get with my brother’s wife who’s physically 20 years older than i am.

me when i'm practically sacrificed because the girl i love is is the key to the end of the world, and all i do is turn into a hideous creature without any real sendoff or significant death scene.

me when i've been arguably the most significant character for the whole show just to get zero character development throughout the finale as i'm separated from the rest of the main cast.

me when i was introduced later in the show because of my vital importance to the plot, only to have my personality stripped from me so i can cheat on my fan favourite husband with his brother.

me when i'm a squid that swallows a girl and no one cares to explain why.

[zorlok-if]

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Casper.

The prologue has been re-released on itch.io and you can play it now! The first two scenes have been heavily revised while the last scene is entirely rewritten. There have been some quality of life fixes (though I'll also be adding a few more in the upcoming weeks) such as improved audio settings and a skip to final scene option.

If you run into any bugs or errors, let me know. The best way to do so is through an ask here on Tumblr or in the Zorlok Discord server (screenshots are always helpful if possible).

You can find the updated content warnings for the Prologue under the cut. If there's anything you think should be added or reworded, just let me know.

I am so thrilled and happy to share this with you and even more excited to keep sharing this story with you. The next update will be part of episode 1 and I'm hoping to get that out within the next few months (though we'll see since I'm a librarian and summer reading is coming up).

Anyways, I hope you have an absolutely lovely day and that you enjoy the update!

-Albie

Huge thank you to my wonderful playtesters: Arc, Aspen, Aster, Beckdeck, Cassie, Crash Sjordal, Crouton, Equus, Ghost, Jinx, Kazoowhiz, LeafGoldKing, Mansym, Monday, Oddington, Sneky, and Snooga

PLAY ZORLOK | CAST | FAQ | NAV | PLAYLIST | DISCORD | AUTHOR

Updated Content Warnings for the Prologue: Blood Body Horror Insect/Necrotic Imagery Physical Restraint Mental Invasion Memory Loss Self-Mutilation Cursing Bullying Broken Bones (conditional) Wretching (conditional)

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Tongues and Teeth (The Crane Wives)

If you're fine with that you can be mine.... I WILL POISON ALL YOUR HAPPY THOUGHTS!/I WILL LOVE YOU LIKE THE ASHES IN MY CIGARETTE BOX!

I've grown a mouth so sharp and cruel/It's all that I can give to you, my dear/And when you come in quick to steal a kiss/My teeth will only cut your lips, my dear

And I know that you mean so well/But I am not a vessel for your good intent

"I quote the above passage."

"It sounds happy until you listen to the lyrics and then you're like. Oh"

"Can I submit The Crane Wives whole catalog? Just every song they've ever made? Tongues & Teeth is so good tho so I'll make it my flagship, its both so personal and so universal cause you can interpret it in so many ways to apply it to so many blorbos. I've applied it to 10 and it fits and hits different every time. Absolutely Iconic song."

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

Tongues and Teeth submitted by @they-thespian666 + others

[braghis]

Listen. I had fun the last time, so i'm gonna leave here another list of my Riordanverse unpopular opinions/hot takes. I hope no one is gonna cancel me:

- Throwing every single female character in the hunters is lazy writing and kinda OOC for Reyna;

- The Cupid scene is disgusting and the fact that it was made by a queer god makes it even worse;

- Jason and Nico's friendship >>> Percy and Jason's friendship. Nico and Jason were more foils than the latter and Percy will ever be;

- Leo and Nico should have been friends, and the fact that Leo was so scarred of him in HoO is wasted potential;

- Today Percy is basically the not-so-unconfirmed most powerful demigod BUT both Nico and Hazel have the potential to being more powerful than him. However, since Percy is based on Rick's own son he refuses to elaborate on it;

- Actually GROVER is Percy's best friend, not Jason, and in HoO Annabeth and Piper had a more "kinda homoerotic bromance" going on than their boyfriends ever had;

- Aside from that, Jason is clearly alive. Trow that ToA scene away;

- Nico killing Bryce Lawrence is both the most terrifying and the best scene in both PJo and HoO;

- It would have been better if Hazel and Frank were friends-crushingoneachother during HoO and started dating in ToA;

- Riordan's amatonormativity wasted the potential of many characters (like Nico and Leo) and the potential of many friendships;

- Caleo is acceptable in HoO but in ToA it fucking sucks;

- Actually it would have been interesting if Calypso discovered herself as a lesbian during ToA OR in a possible Leo's standalone novel;

- In terms of capabilities, storylines and roles in the plot Percy, Annabeth, Nico, Hazel and Reyna are Riordan's most badass characters. Others (mostly Thalia, Jason and Piper) have the potential but are underdeveloped;

- And that in my opinion is HoO biggest problem: the series has many new interesting characters (Hazel, Leo, Reyna, Jason) but they are underdeveloped in favor of 1) romance and 2) Percabeth being in the major spotlight;

- I have mixed feeling about Percy and Annabeth being part of the Seven;

- Fierrochase >>>>> Solangelo;

- Tsats is utter dogshit and it is REALLY hard to consider it canon;

- Canon Solangelo is ableist and the fact that a big part of the fandom has no problem with it is kinda disturbing. Also some fanon solangelo contents are ableist as well and it is partly RR's fault;

- The fandom basically wrote and characterized Will Solace's character. Neither Riordan or Mark Oshiro give a fuck about him, and problably that's NOT gonna improve in the Tsats sequel;

- Accusing people who don't like solangelo and/or Tsats of homophobia is like the dumbest take ever;

- RR's representation characters are a concentration of stereotypes;

- It would have been better if Piper had her self-discovering - queer storyline from the beginning of HoO. It would have made her more interesting and relatable;

- Even more, it would have been more interesting if Piper had her queer-reveal storyline in HoO THANKS to her not-so-straight chemistry with Annabeth;

- Making Nico a overly morally correct/morally "pure" character makes him less interesting;

- CJ >>> CHB;

- Nico should be a rough demigod;

- It is heavily implied that the majority of CHB STILL doesn't like Nico and they only "tolerate" him because they like Will;

- Bisexual Jason is better and makes more sense than bisexual Percy. Jason's arc is basically a metaphor of bisexuality;

- It makes me sad how RR basically throw away every other Nico's beautiful relationships (with Jason, Reyna, Hazel, even Percy..) in favor of solangelo. Nico WAS a complex and developed character, now he's kinda just "the gay one";

- With his latest works RR is ruining his own franchise;

- PJo>>>>>>MG>>>ToA>>HoO;

[the-overanalyst]

with my post-ena5 understanding of mizuki's character, i've tried reexamining her key moments through that lens. that's what led me to the questions i'll try to answer here: what was mizuki feeling during the rooftop scene (the original one) and did ena's declaration there actually do her more harm than good?

the reason the rooftop scene is so important is because it changes mizuki's motivation. she infamously says "i lied to her," but it doesn't end up being a lie. all the way through this event, her goal was still to keep her secret under wraps. but from this point forward, her goal is to find the courage to share her secret.

it's comparable to how ena's motivation switches from seeking validation to seeking self improvement thanks to kanade's kind gesture in insatiable pale color. in that case, it's clearly a good thing: one need was met so she could focus on another further up maslow's hierarchy. mizuki's situation, unfortunately, is more complicated.

to explain why, we need to address mizuki's defining internal conflict. her desire for meaningful lasting connection is at war with her self-loathing and guilt. so when ena says she'll wait forever, part of mizuki is elated. as she almost admitted out loud, she wants to keep seeing the cherry blossoms together with n25.

at the end of secret distance, having accepted that n25 is important to her, mizuki was faced with a choice. she could either have genuine friendship, or she could keep her secret. once we get to footprints, it's clear she's chosen the latter. that's why her first shock in the scene comes when ena calls her a "friend." whether or not she thinks she deserves it, and despite her best attempts to sabotage its formation, the friendship exists. and the others are trying to make it last.

but mizuki pushes back. she insists ena can't really mean forever, she warns her it could be a really long time. implicitly, she's trying to tell her "i'm not worth it." this is the ugly side of the rooftop scene. because now that ena has made her dedication so clear, there's no way for mizuki to escape her guilt.

so what's the point? aside from making us all cry, what did this scene accomplish?

well, i've hinted at it already, but this the scene that makes mizuki realize, "i want to tell her. i have to tell her." sure, for a moment, it crosses her mind that ena would stay her friend forever if she simply didn't tell her, but even the thought makes her feel like an awful person. continuing on like that was never really an option. even if she doesn't know it by the end of the scene, she now has the motivation and will someday have the courage to move forward.

before this, she saw ena more the way mafuyu sees shizuku or others from school: she'll never really know me because i don't let the mask slip in front of her. afterwards, she sees her the way mafuyu sees kanade: she's trying for me, so i have to try too.

of course, she's still delaying and deflecting out of a desire to keep things the same, but one way or another, the "distance" arc is over. it's a gradual process from here, but as we see in world link and in mafu5, she really is trying.

in the grand scheme of things, i have to argue that ena's declaration had a net positive effect. mizuki's chronic nemesis is stagnation. painful or not, the rooftop scene forces her to make an effort to change. without it, she never would have found the genuine, trusting connections and unconditional love she now knows she has.

[avelera]

Oh I would love to hear more of your thoughts on Heimerdinger because all of my friends were like "aaw the poor guy, he was right about magic all along, Jayce and Viktor owe him an apology" and I'm like??? Heimerdinger literally does nothing to improve any situation ever! I was so hoping he'd learn his lesson under Ekko, but when he got stranded in an AU and just decided to stay there and permanently take over his other self's body and let his original timeline perish I was genuinely horrified by his complacency (again). TBH I would have really liked to see him confronted with the fucked up culmination of all the fiddling with the Arcane in person, because I think I wanted him to see that he was right, he was right and yet he didn't change anything in the end (I'd even argue that he gets away without facing the consequences of any of his failings, he escapes Jinx' bombs even tho he failed in politics and he escapes the Arcane Apocalypse even tho he failed as a guide to his pupils and Hextech safeguard.)

Heimerdinger is a super interesting character and I'm glad you asked this because the previous meta discussion got me thinking about him but I didn't really know where to begin. I'll try to break my thoughts down with some cohesion:

I do think Heimerdinger learned his lesson within the narrative but specifically with regards to his two demonstrated personal flaws. Heimerdinger's two greatest flaws within the narrative are:

1) A lack of understanding and empathy towards those with shorter lives

2 ) The way his immortality detaches him from actually living his life (which feeds into point 1).

This is going to get long though, so I'm gonna start picking apart what I see as Heimerdinger's flaws and his virtues and how those get addressed beneath a cut:

So as I said, I would argue that Heimerdinger's arc does address his core flaws. His moment of greatest personal cruelty is when he fails to recognize Jayce and Viktor's desperation and, instead of agreeing to help them and guide them to make their experiments safe in the face of their desperation for Viktor to live, he just tries to shut them down. He gets exactly what he deserves there.

Then, in the AU universe, he recognizes this and agrees to help Ekko. He then willingly sacrifices his own life to send Ekko back to the canon universe, where Ekko is instrumental in saving the day. That, I would argue, is Heimerdinger's redemption arc, and he needed a redemption arc.

Also, while he was in the alternate timeline, he learned how to live in the moment, which addresses his second flaw, which feeds into his first flaw. I don't blame him for not feeling urgency to return home, without Ekko, he had no way of doing so. It could be seen as complacency, or perhaps simply an understanding of the reality. Would that world have been a better place if he'd invented Hextech just for a shot at returning to his universe? I'd argue that he was trying to be selfless by not doing so, when we see how much damage Hextech did in the canon universe. I think he was simply at peace with a shitty situation for himself, rather than actively avoiding his responsibilities.

As for the other Heimerdinger, who knows! Was there even one? Do yordles only have one identity across the multiverse? Or was there an element of redemption in Heimerdinger choosing to take his alternate self out of the Council? We just don't know.

As for his political identity, Heimerdinger is super interesting there too. Technically, he's an immortal enlightened despot in Piltover as its founder. I think he hides this fact from himself by allowing a council of humans to sometimes outvote him, in a fig leaf over the fact he really doesn't have the right to govern a bunch of humans, and I think him getting voted out of the Council acknowledges and narratively punishes him for this fact. Piltover isn't as enlightened as he thought it was under his leadership, a fact he realizes when he goes to the undercity and realizes how blind he was. But I'd say those were his flaws, he was always blind and naive, not malicious. And I think the narrative punishes him accordingly by giving him a wakeup call that he was asleep at the helm. He doesn't deserve to be in charge anymore. Jayce was completely right to kick him out BUT, did things get worse without the peaceful, modulating view of Heimerdinger on the council? How would HE have voted for Zaun's independence? I'd be very curious to know.

And I think it should be noted, Heimerdinger does have virtues too! His caution towards Hextech is not only well-founded, he is 100% correct. I think people forget that Heimerdinger was never ambiguous on the subject of where Hextech would lead them, he was completely right that it corrupts, destroys, and lays waste to civilizations. There's no ambiguity there! He's completely correct!

He's also correct that there are scientific innovations that would be safer if they spent more time in testing before being made available to the wider world. It took 100 years for people to realize coal burning factories were measurably altering the world's climate. Another great example of an invention that should have been tested more before it was implemented was freon, which was used in early refrigerators and does measurable damage to Earth's ozone later to the point where it is now banned. What if instead more tests had been run?

Heimerdinger's long view of science is correct and in an ideal world, it'd be great if we could run these tests to their conclusions. However, the long view isn't the whole story, a debate that Arcane actively engages with.

Because it should also be pointed out: the refrigerator also helped improve people's health around to the world. Think of all the food and medicine that can be preserved today because of refrigeration! Literally thousands would have died if we had banned refrigerators until freon could be better studied.

That's kind of where Viktor is at vs. Heimerdinger. If freon-powered refrigerators can end hunger in the undercity, why aren't we applying it now? To which Heimerdinger answers: you don't know what else it might be doing to the world. They are in fact both correct! It's a debate! One the real world is still trying to figure out. Heimerdinger is an extreme case of the long view, and Viktor is an equally extreme case of the short view since he's frantic now that he has so little time to live. Jayce tries to balance the two and gets caught in the middle with everyone mad at him, poor guy.

Anyway, I think that covers most of what I had to say about Heimerdinger? Hope that helps!

[theloganator101]

Stolas is a Bad Character

Yeah yeah I know, I'm not bringing anything new to the table. But I just wanna lay out my thoughts about this guy now that Sinmas was released.

Now at the beginning, he had some potential considering how he was tied to the main character Blitz. Whether he ended up as a villain or not there are ways to go about his character... but in the hands of Vivzie she completely took it in the absolute WRONG direction!

She started making the show more about him and his family/love drama, how he was struggling to get Blitz to love him without ever acknowledging his flaws and how his actions comes across as the opposite of what he's trying to do. So it wouldn't be surprising if Blitz only saw him as only wanting sex and nothing more than that.

Stolas never acknowledges or realizes how he kind of looks down on the lower class, he never realizes his "nicknames" to Blitz could be demeaning and send the wrong message if he wanted the relationship between them to be more genuine and not transactional, and he never has a moment of realization of how horrible he's really been to the people around him.

And while in Sinmas he kind of acknowledges how badly he fucked up in leaving his own daughter behind to save Blitz without another word, but that's after he whines and complains about how he lost his status and how he's poor. And that's not including the little montage that shows how unapologetically privileged he really is.

He never goes through genuine growth or realizations about ANY of the bad things he did and is instead coddled by the narrative and given everything he wants.

Sure he lost Octavia, but honestly good for her for cutting Stolas out of her life since he has proven time and time again that she is second fiddle to him when it comes to Blitz. And considering how he pretty much kept her in the dark about the whole situation, it's not surprising that she would accuse him of only staying in an unhappy marriage because of her being an obligation to him.

And if you want a good character that's in a position of power, gets put on the lower class level, AND gets genuine development?

Kuzco from the Emperor's New Groove is literally everything Stolas should've been in terms of how they wanted his arc to play out.

And what makes Kuzco a good character is because he's NOT a whiny bitch all because he had his feefees hurt, he's funny, self absorbed, he has flaws that gets called out by BOTH the narrative and Pacha! And that causes him to realize the error of his ways and improve as a person.

TAKE NOTES VIVZIEPOP! THIS IS HOW YOU WRITE A FLAWED CHARACTER!

[fizzyorange-v2]

just talking to my friend in dms about how at first when q!charlie started calming down from his rampage i was kinda upset cause i WANTED a full villain arc i wanted blood and rage and a massacre but then I kept watching and realised how much of a fucking idiot I was to underestimate charlie slimecicle’s rp skills like that. because charlie isn’t just playing a character hell bent on righteous revenge for his daughter, he’s playing a character actually grieving that daughter.

it’s obvious now that i think about it that the initial revenge plot to kill all the eggs and his repeated self affirmations that juanaflippa isn’t gone and that it can all just be reset are clearly just him entering the denial and anger stages. and that later scenes after the rest of the server finally backed him into a corner and calmed him down and he had that heart wrenching scene looking at juanaflippa’s photo, asking for a literal trial for her life and soul back and then that whooooole bar scene, that he has then entered the bargaining and depression stages.

Because the truth is, q!charlie doesn’t actually want to kill anyone (except Mariana lolll), he especially doesn’t want to kill any of the eggs! All he wanted was to be a good dad. And I think that that’s part of the reason he as a character failed so hard to actually tangibly hurt anyone during this stream. He was a mess, crying screaming yelling clawing trying to do something, anything to save his daughter. Anything to fix it all. That scene of him failing to break into Phil’s house haunts me.

But I think there’s something especially tragic that before Juanaflippa, q!charlie probably was the kind of character to hurt others without caring, he seemed to have no idea about empathy or healthy relationships before her thats for sure. He’s literally already killed TWO eggs before this, so causally and with such ease. But his love for his daughter improved him, and it changed him, and it made him just enough of a better person that when that daughter was taken from him, suddenly even to save her he can’t fucking do it anymore.

I also really appreciate how everyone else on the server reacted to him too. They didn’t at all treat him like some big bad scary villain like I originally would I’ve expected. Sure they were understandably wary and protective, but every single one of them weren’t so much angry at him as… WORRIED for him. And it really helped put it in perspective that this isn’t some guy going on a hashtag villain arc, but immersed me in oh fuck. This is a guy that just lost his daughter. And all his friends and fellow parents know. And they aren’t scared of him, they’re concerned for him. They aren’t full of fear… but pity. Because they know. They know what he’s just lost. And they understand. And they’re trying to be there for him.

And Charlie despite all the grand speeches and diabolical plots and not so carefully placed land mines… doesn’t really care how he gets Juanaflippa back, as long as she’s with him again.

Just man,,,, the way Charlie performed this character’s grief is so fucking stellar and SO fucking excruciating. The part that genuinely broke me was in that photo scene when he said: “i'm sorry flippa... i thought i could change something- i thought i could undo it, thought i could make it right... now i see that there's no way this can be made right...” which already fucking ow ow OW and clearly him finally exiting denial/anger straight into depression but then he whispers THIS FUCKING BIT: “it wasnt even on purpose… i know that... it doesnt make it better… what do i do juanaflippa?” LIKE FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!! OKAY!!!!!

Anyway massive props to everyone for the rp today but ESPECIALLY charlie for this agonisingly accurate and visceral depiction of grief that I somehow was NOT expecting. I thought we were going to get villain arc egg massacre angst and instead we got father mourning his daughter trying futilely to do anything to bring her back angst. I’m never fucking recovering from this one.

[fangdokja]

ANNOUNCEMENTS (especially for horror + psychological readers)

Good news, everyone. 😊 I'm officially not mind blocked anymore with horror + erotic horror + psychological + thriller content.

Yeyy. I'm officially back to writing my stories for the actual yandere long-form content. Still extremely BUSY, but at least I'm not mind blocked anymore. I will still be incorporating dark humor content like my recent posts in other future stories. But just informing you all about the good news, since I know a number of you are waiting for actual horror content.

I have an upcoming explicit erotic horror story for Yandere! Author in "Whispers In The Dark" this Valentines Day entitled:

🔞"You like happy endings? Too bad. I don’t write those."

But I'm currently writing for long-form horror novellas. Not sure, but hopefully I'll be able to post a new chapter next week. Surprise though on what it is, because I always write and jump from one story to another.

Also we're approaching 2k followers, and I haven't posted my 1k special wahh. Sorry. Actually, I saw the results.

Actually, if you look here, you'll notice that I've always had the Yandere! Reverse Harem in "A Heart Devoured" ever since way before a lot of novellas:

It's been in my drafts the longest, because there's a lot of things to edit. I wrote a lot, literally Parts 1-4 serving as the intro arc. And I know it's good. But I've been debating for the past time if I should just restart everything due to how many edits that need to be done. I've also improved a lot from before. So... yeah. I decided, I'll restart instead and make it even more horrifying :)) Sorry it's taking a while. Thought I could finish it, but I know I could do better so yeah.

Me to my writing: Get that shiz out of here. *horrified author noises*

This is just a preview of how my writing looks before most edits and formatting. Yes. I write like one would write paragraphs and run-on sentences. It's what I do in research as well. Anyways, I know I could do better, so I'm going to restart from scratch. Also those descriptions are horrifying in a "seriously use your thesaurus, dude. did you seriously use the term 'biggest'." *slaps self*

Anyways, I'm also shocked with how many people are reading my stories. And if you read everything, how...? I appreciate it, but man so committed. haha. Thank you though to all you, Readers. Also low-key don't know if I'm doing well. I'm literally just here to write and improve my skills lol.

For those who wanted the incest harem, I've actually been writing this upcoming story in "Forbidden Fruits". I'm about 40% done with the first part of the novella to set up the lore of the story:

♡ Characters Included. Yandere! Grandfather, Father, Older Brother, Twin Brother

Thank you everyone for being so patient with me. I really appreciate how committed and understanding you all are huuuu. Really.

Also, I guess everyday is a surprise to most of you all considering my schedule is basically making me write and post whatever the fudge I want. Regardless, I'm happy to welcome all you new Readers, and to all my veteran Readers, thank you for all the patience thus far.

And to everyone? Thank you. I'm honestly happy with just writing and sharing. The fact you're all kind enough to do more, well I have no words to express my gratitude to you all. Whether you're a lurker or love to comment, please continue to enjoy and relax in this LIBRARY.

Also, I made a new masterlist to give you all recommendations based on what type of yandere you like, or what kind of plot you want.

[bird-inacage]

The Heart Killers: Character Interviews (Kant/Bison Focus)

So this proved to be super interesting. Let us see what can be gleaned from these brief little interview segments with Kant and Bison.

Immediately, I'm struck by how serious and stoic Kant comes across. He has a very mature aura, and is quite hard to read (which I guess is a plus considering what he gets up to). I didn't expect this, based on how flirty and forward he appeared to be in the trailer, and that makes me wonder if it's all part of a persona he's playing. Or whether the real Kant is in fact more measured and introspective, and Bison just brings out his playful side?

A notable trait that gets signposted repeatedly is Kant's care for his brother Babe. I believe Khao has made a similar comment about him being family-oriented. It makes a tonne of sense to me as to why Bison would be drawn to a 'family man'; someone who has strong family values, when Bison's essentially been rejected by his own.

"My goal in life is to make sure my brother grows up into a good man. I want to make sure he doesn't feel like he's lacking anything. We're all we've got right now." "I just live day by day, just keeping with my goal which is making sure my brother grows up well." This is so telling of Kant's mentality. Not only does it suggest that Kant is a stand-in parent of sorts, but that he doesn't live for himself. (Which could be something of a parallel to Bison - who is unable to live by his own rules). His goals centre entirely on his loved ones' needs being met and supporting them. This definitely gives provider with self-sacrificing tendencies.

"I feel like my goal is just to make sure my loved ones get to live their dreams. For now, I just want my brother to have a good life. But one day, if someone comes into my life and I love them, my goal would be to make sure they get to achieve their dreams." And yet another selfless, touching sentiment. The desire to aid your loved ones to actualise their dreams, possibly before or over your own. I expect Kant will be a very doting, nurturing soul. (Lucky Bison).

I wonder if Kant and Fadel will empathise with one another over their respective little brothers, and the sense of responsibility that comes with it. Bonding opportunity perhaps?

The most mysterious thing Kant says is "One more thing I'm not a big fan of is the beach." (The reason is personal). Curious. First has specifically talked about filming on the beach, where they were able to do a lot more improv. Any speculations on the above are wide open.

Now let's move onto our resident Murder Kitten. I've always said that Bison reads as a real sweetie-pie based on everything we've seen thus far. He's very animated and expressive. Khao very deliberately uses a softer, lighter vocal register as Bison, which just accentuates this cute, darling image. A real child at heart who wants to make up for a life he didn't get to lead. "I go out, I'm just trying to live outside the burger shop." His childhood dream about seeing the northern lights is just another example of a boy who has daydreamed of escape, and welcomes any excuse to be as far away from his actual life as possible. He also mentions being fond of a stray cat who resides near their burger bar, who he enjoys feeding and playing with. This precious boy, I cant. (Note: I need to have scenes of this in the show PURR-LEASE).

Everything about Bison as a person feels at odds with his violent lifestyle, which seems to be a central conflict in Bison's character arc. It does beg the question of what if Bison had never been adopted, what kind of life would he be living instead? And I think this drives Kant's desire to fight for Bison's chance at a new start. A boy with big dreams meets a man who wants to realise them. What a match.

Another comment we've heard before in the pilot is "I also don't like liars", no doubt foreshadowing the fallout when he finds out Kant did exactly that. I do think it's likely that whatever drives Kant to take the detective job has reasons to do with his own brother. He may wish to clear his record of anything untoward for his brother's sake. Based on this premise, when Bison does find out why Kant did what he did, I think that will help soothe any hard feelings.

On a side note - I've seen a comment mention that Kant apparently calls Bison 'kitten' in the novel. ERM HULLO?!! I will allow one spoiler, and that is whether this is true or not. And if so, I DEMAND that it is a featured pet name in the show, because why on earth would you miss an opportunity like that?!

You can keep tabs on bird-inacage’s BL meta directory for other long-form posts around The Heart Killers, which I'll be updating as the show airs.

[tobiasdrake]

hello. odd question: if you were given the choice, what sort of post buu sequel would you personally want to see? you don't have to write a whole story or anything, just, what kind of story would you want to see told if it were up to you? in terms of basic premise, tone, or "gimmick" if you'd like to see one.

Probably unpopular opinion but my ideal vision of a post-Buu Dragon Ball sequel would be to retire Goku and Vegeta after the Buu arc for good. Goku's story ended very satisfyingly with the Cell arc and I don't think Vegeta could ever go out on a higher note than what Buu gave him. I think Dragon Ball has a lot of potential for future storytelling beyond Buu but if we're working from scratch then these two characters, specifically, I'm ready to be done with.

What Dragon Ball needs to give it that shot in the arm is to have the courage to do what it wanted to do post-Cell: to start over and reinvent itself.

I do understand why that fell apart with Gohan. Gohan doesn't like martial arts. He never has. He enjoys it as an activity he can do with the people he loves, but he isn't a martial artist at heart. He has no drive for it as a hobby; His only relationship with it is as a necessary evil he sometimes has to engage in to protect his loved ones.

That's not a spark that can drive a Dragon Ball protagonist down a road of self-discovery and personal improvement through a deep, personal relationship with the art. And all the attempts to make Gohan relevant again just amount to giving him free power-ups and browbeating him into doing things that, on a fundamental level, he just hates doing.

Gohan doesn't want to be a Dragon Ball main character. He has never wanted that, and we shouldn't force him to. It's better for him and better for the story to just move along.

So where does that leave us?

I think the Buu arc gave us all the tools we need to reinvent Dragon Ball already. I think the characters who have the most potential in telling new Dragon Ball stories are the ones the franchise kinda just... wants to sweep aside. It's Goten, Trunks, and Marron. Pan and Bra. And our new green god Dende. The next generation of Dragon Ball heroes.

It's Goten and Trunks looking at their fathers' backs and knowing that these are the mountains that they are meant to climb. To become more than Goku and Vegeta ever were. And questioning if that's even what they want for themselves. What is their relationship to the art, independent of their fathers? Independent of each other?

Who even are they to each other? Are they to be a reflection of their fathers? Are they to be their fathers' mirror opposites? Or are they to be something else, something independent of their fathers, something only they can identify?

And what does the art mean to them personally? When it stops being "I'm doing this because my family does it," what is it to them? Is it even what they want or, like Gohan, do their destinies lie down another road?

Who is Marron? Who will she grow up to be? What does the art mean to her? In this world of Saiyans and Namekians, what are the limitations that her humanity imposes on her? And how can she break those limits and become something super?

These are the questions that I think could fuel a really interesting sequel series. I think the key to Dragon Ball's artistic future is in allowing someone else to go on a martial arts journey of their own, so we can watch them grow from a wide-eyed child to a wizened master as we once watched Goku.

[imaginarylungfish]

we don't want izuku to be quirkless in the end blah blah blah, yeah i know. same.... but also, it could be cool.

imagine he still becomes a great hero, but quirkless? he's the first quirkless hero? and maybe that message is not one for mha to tackle, but hear me out:

what if his arc is him wanting so badly to have a quirk, getting one, learning that being a hero is inherent to himself and not attached to his quirk/abilities, giving his quirk up, AND still being a great hero? wouldn't that be awesome?!

i think that type of character trajectory is unique and interesting in and of itself. but i also know my personal experiences in life contribute to why i think it's cool. i became sick and chronically ill in my late-teens/early-twenties. i lost my health. over the past 5 years, i've regained a lot of it, but i'm not 100% better (and most likely will never be). i've had to go through the arduous process of accepting my physical limits through many iterations of functionality yet learning when i was actually being held back by mental limits/fears and how to push past those.

i relate to izuku's character on many levels: wanting so badly to have something i don't, trying so hard despite not having that thing, and getting that thing you wished so badly for seemingly out of the blue (for me, it was a medication that drastically improved my health). i also relate to his self-destructiveness in name of a goal and sense of (sometimes unwanted) martyrdom.

but i was always a little disappointed throughout the series in the fact that izuku's big problem at the beginning was just seemingly resolved by him getting his quirk from all might. does he view his quirkless self as worthy as his OFA self? we don't know. (do i view my sick self as worthy as my "healthy" self? i don't know.)

so, i just think, if izuku loses his quirk, there is more room for growth for him. in other words, he becomes more interesting. and i get it, this is a shonen manga, it's ending soon, and it's supposed to have an inspiring message (i assume). so maybe it ending with him being quirkless is not something that belongs in this category of manga/anime. but if any series can break the mold, isn't it mha?

[cleangirlxoxo]

winter arc 2024 (how to glow up)

winter arc

i've been seeing this term a lot on Instagram/TikTok and the basic concept is to take these winter months (October, November, December, January and February) to lock in and complete your goals with no distractions. recently I have been trying to focus on myself and achieving my goals so I feel like this is a perfect trend for us girlies trying to rebrand ourselves!

this is something I am going to be taking very seriously, as I feel like i'm in desperate need for an era of just focusing on myself completely. for the next 5 months we are only going to be directing our energy (and thoughts) on the improvement of ourselves. i am going to be categorically laying out the rules I am going to be following for the next five months; hopefully this motivates someone out there wanting to change themselves for the better.

01. health + fitness

-taking supplements everyday

-gym 4x a week

-eating clean

-drink 60 oz of water a day + track how much i'm drinking

-no caffeine

-yoga daily

-no drinking alcohol or smoking

-skincare every day and night

-8 hrs of sleep every night (!)

-hair oiling once a week + no heat damage

-lash serum every morning and night

-guasha exercises everyday

-whiten teeth + oil pull daily

-face mask + lip scrub atl once a week

-take makeup off every night

-wash face before and after working out

02. finances

-take care of bills

-open up a credit card

-save as much money as possible

-prioritize work

-don't spend money frivolously

-rewards for achieving goals

-start investing

-find a side hustle

03. intellect

-learn a new hobby (mine will be sketching/drawing)

-finish atleast one book a month

-get good grades/work hard in school

-practice writing everyday

-stay off of social media

-try to stop using foul language

-keep a habit tracker

04. mental health

-meditate daily in nature

-repeat affirmations of the month in the mirror everyday

-visualize desires as if they are yours

-script dream life in a journal

-keep a diary and write an entry everyday even if it's brief or boring

-work on positive self concept that is aligned with goals

-no negative thoughts allowed

-no thoughts about other's opinions or critical thoughts of others

-spend most of time alone for true enrichment

-watch movies you've always wanted to see

-decorate walls of room more

-girlblog